Promises
by Micky Fine
Summary: CHAPTER 2 UP! Donna deals with what has happened. JD
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Promises

AUTHOR: Micky Fine

DISCLAIMER: None of the characters from the West Wing belong to me (duh!) and I am making no profit from this piece of fiction (double duh!).

ARCHIVE: You want it, please ask first.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is much darker than any of my other typical J/D fluff but it just kind of popped into my head one day and I thought I better write it before I lose it. I'm not sure if this is gonna be a one parter or if there will be more (I am leaning toward a second part from Donna's POV). Any input would be great.

As a timeline, Josh and Amy are still a thing and this takes place some time after Christmas.

*** means a flashback.

Reviews always welcome.

Josh was focusing on the slick roads when his cell phone rang. He heard Amy sigh as he pulled it off his hip and put it to his ear.

"Josh Lyman," he said shortly.

"Josh, it's CJ."

"What's up?"

"Donna's been attacked."

If Josh had listened closely he would have heard that CJ was on the verge of tears. Unfortunately, he thought that his friends were drunk and attempting to play a practical joke.

"By what? The tape dispenser? Or maybe the photocopier jumped her. Of course, if it was the stapler she might need stitches."

Josh saw Amy give him an odd look in his peripheral vision but he ignored her.

"Josh! I'm not kidding, Donna's been attacked and you need to come to the hospital right now," CJ said harshly and her voice cracked.

Josh was grateful for the red light that provided an excuse for him to stop short.

"How bad?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know. They won't let us in to see her."

Josh felt something sink inside him as his stomach cramped up with anxiety.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. George Washington?"

"Yes."

"Be there right away."  
"Hurry, Josh," CJ said before she disconnected.

Josh pulled a u-turn and headed toward the hospital.

"I thought you weren't going back to work tonight," Amy complained.

"I'm not."

"Then where are we going?"

"The hospital. Donna needs me."

The short statement was greeted by silence. As he sped through the streets of DC, Josh thought about the last time he had seen Donna.

***

"Hey Josh," Josh looked up to see his assistant leaning against the doorframe.

"What's up?" he asked returning to his paperwork.

"I was wondering if you could give me a ride home," when there was only silence, Donna rushed on, "because my car is in the garage again getting it's brakes fixed or something and I don't have a ride."

Josh looked up again at the angelic face looking anxious and expectant and felt horribly guilty for what he was about to do.

"Donna, I would but I can't," he watched her face fall. Feeling even more horrible he hurried to explain, "You see, I'm having dinner with Amy tonight and if I'm late or if I cancel..."

"You're screwed," she finished quietly.

"Something like that."

He felt horrible for having to turn her down. It seemed that Amy got between them more and more often lately. He was about to speak again when he was interrupted by Donna's falsely bright voice.

"It's ok. I'll just figure out some other way home."

She turned to leave but Josh halted her with his voice.

"Donna?"

She turned to look at him.

"Just promise you won't walk home. It's not safe for you to walk where you live."

"I know a great solution for that."

"Really, what?"

"A raise."

"Ha, tell the Bagel you want a raise."

"I tried."

She turned again.

"Donna, you didn't promise."

"I promise not to walk home Josh."

"Good."

***

Josh raced into the hospital entrance, expecting to feel the scar on his chest to ache, for his hand to sting, to hear Christmas music. Instead all he felt was panic for Donna. He began to look frantically for a nurse who could tell him where to find Donna. His search halted abruptly when he heard his name.

"Josh!"

He turned to see Will Bailey striding quickly towards him.

"Will, what are you doing here?"

"I was with Toby and CJ when the hospital phoned."

Josh nodded.

Will gestured towards the elevator, "C'mon, Donna's upstairs. We still haven't seen her but we're all waiting up there."

Josh followed Will into the elevator. They stood watching the floor numbers crawl by. Everything was wrong. Donna shouldn't be here.

***

Josh halted outside the door of Will's office. He had sent Donna down here nearly twenty minutes ago and she had disappeared. He was about to stride in and ask Will if he had kidnapped his assistant when he heard Donna's voice.

"It's just so hard, you know?" he was surprised to hear her voice swollen with tears.

"I know," he heard Will say softly and reassuringly.

"It's just that their there, every day in my face. And he keeps putting our friendship on the back burner and I can literally see us hanging on by a thread."

Josh realized with shock that the "he" Donna was talking about was him.

"Do you think Amy's pulling you two apart on purpose?"

"I don't see why she would. We're just friends. At least as far he's concerned. I try to keep all other emotions deep down."

"Donna, you two are not just friends. I was there last year, remember?"

"Where?"

Donna was obviously just as confused as Josh was.

"At your apartment when we threw snowballs."

He heard Donna chuckle.

"Donna, if you had seen the look on his face when he figured out you had lied. If you had seen that look when you popped your head out the window like a princess locked in a tower," he heard Will pause, "you would know that you two are way beyond friendship."

He could practically hear Donna blush.

"Thanks," she said softly, "I should get back. Josh ought to be on the rampage right about now."

"No problem, but I do have one question for you."

"What?"

"Why do you come to me? Why do always tell me what's going on and ask my opinion?"  
"Well, I used to go to Sam. And since he's not here anymore and you're his handpicked replacement..."

"You trust my opinion like you did his."

"Something like that."

"Thanks."

Josh darted behind a pillar as he watched Donna come out of Will's office. He was surprised when he heard Will calling his name.

"Josh, didn't Donna ever teach you that it's rude to eavesdrop?"

"She might have covered it. I know my mother did," he paused and asked softly, "Does she come talk to you often?"

"About once a week now. Before she'd come by once a month and we'd joke around but now...she's almost always sad now."

"Is it all because of me?"

"What do you think?"

"Is she in...love with me?"

"If she isn't I hope I can get that kind of devotion from my assistants."

Josh nodded and then did a double take.

"You have a thing for her," it was statement more then a question.

"Why wouldn't I? It's not like you have any claim on her."

Josh looked angrily at him.

"Then again, that's the look of the man who throws snowballs."

"I'm the good cop."

"I'm the bad cop, I know."

***

Josh had lost track of the time he had been sitting here in this horribly uncomfortable chair. He looked into the faces of his companions. CJ, Toby and Will all looked as drained as him. Ginger had stopped by to check on how things were going. Amy had gone home hours ago. Leo phoned every hour.

No one knew anything. The doctors said nothing, just looked worried.

Josh was pulled out of his reverie when the First Lady strode in.

"Mrs. Bartlett," the group said nearly in a chorus.

"How is she?" she asked urgently.

"They won't tell us ma'am," Josh replied softly.

The First Lady shot him a worried look and then looked business-like once again, "Well," she said shortly, "I'll go see what I can find out."

They all nodded thankfully and sat back down.

When she returned she wore the worried look of all the doctors surrounding them. Josh jumped up to meet her.

"How is she?"

"Not good. Somebody beat the hell out of her. She's horribly bruised. Several of her ribs are broken. They had to remove her spleen because it was irreparably damaged. Her left wrist is fractured. She broke her ankle. She was suffering from hypothermia but they pulled her out of that. But all of that will heal."

"I get the feeling you haven't told me everything."

Mrs. Bartlett looked almost scared.

"Her brain has swelled. If the swelling doesn't go done she could end up in a coma, have brain damage, she could even die."

Josh felt all of his inner organs drop to the sub-basement.

"Can I see her?"

"Not until the swelling goes down. Any movement or stimulation could make things even worse."

Josh felt even worse than when he had been suffering from his PTSD.

"What are her chances?"

"Not good."

Josh dropped back into the horrible plastic chair, grateful for it's support. What would he do without her?

***

Josh stopped several feet from the monument. In the dark, illuminated only by the lights trained on the monument and the moon, he could see the outline of the thin blonde woman he had been looking for.

"Donna," he said softly.

She started and turned to look at him.

"Josh," she said wearily, "I'm off work, any files that need to be organized can wait until tomorrow."

"I didn't come about work."

"Then why are you here?"

"To apologize."  
"Apologize for what?"

"For whatever it is that I did today that made you so down."

"Oh Josh, it's not you.  Well, not entirely you."

There was silence.

"Josh, I'm thinking about leaving you for Sam."

"You're leaving me for Sam?  Why?"

"Well, he has that new firm and he needs an assistant and the hours are better and I might even be able to go to school."

"Donna you're not going to work for Sam."

"How do you know?  Maybe I will."

"You want an excuse to escape.  To leave the White House.  To leave me."

"Oh Josh, I would never leave you."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Josh was still disturbed by the sad look in her eyes.  He pulled her into his arms as she buried her head in his chest and sobbed. If only things were different.

***

Josh was shaken out of his sleep and looked up into the First Lady's face.

"What happened? Is Donna ok?"

"The swelling has gone down. You can see her now."

He jumped up and followed Mrs. Bartlett down the hallway.

"Is she awake?"

"No, she probably won't wake up for several more hours."

They stopped outside a glass door with ICU printed on it. He peered in the window but couldn't see Donna. Casting a glance at Mrs. Bartlett who indicated he should enter, he pushed open the door and took a few steps into the room.

It was artificially bright, the fluorescent light illuminating the form on the bed. It was almost unrecognizable as Donna, only the blonde hair seemed the same. All of the alabaster skin she had been so proud of seemed peppered with bruises. Both her eyes were blackened but amazingly her nose had not been broken. Her jaw was swollen and there was a large bandage swathing her forehead. Her left wrist was in a cast. There was an oxygen tube in her noise, and as he remembered they were damn irritating.

He spotted a stool next to the bed and sat down. Pulling her right hand into his own, not without noticing the bruises and scrapes on her knuckles, he began to speak.

"Hey Donna. You gave us quite a scare there. Even the doctors were worried about you. I was worried about you. I shouldn't have been though. You're strong. You carry so many things inside you and never show how much you're hurting, even when you're heart is breaking. I wish I were more like you. 

"You have to wake up for me. I won't be able to function without you. They'll send me some temp or heaven forbid they'll make that evil intern do your job. You can't do that to me Donna. You know I'd end up being fired or turning into an evil tyrant.

"Why were you walking home? They told me you were found on the sidewalk two blocks from your apartment building. You promised me you wouldn't walk. You promised. And you never break a promise. You promised you wouldn't leave me, remember? You can't leave me Donna."

Realizing the magnitude of his feelings for her he whispered in her ear, "I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

TITLE: Promises

AUTHOR: Micky Fine

DISCLAIMER: You know and I know they don't belong to me and there is absolutely no way anyone would pay me for this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry it's taken so long to get this out. I had decided to do a second part but then I had to figure out if I actually had enough stuff to make it worth your while. Turns out I do (I hope). And then school got really crazy. But after all your waiting, here it is. I've decided that I'll probably do one more part from both Josh and Donna's POV. 

Reviews always welcome.

Donna woke up to the sound of beeping and for one hellish moment she thought that her life up until now had been a dream and that she had been sitting by Josh's hospital bed the whole time. And then she felt it. Felt her sore jaw. Felt the pain every time she breathed. The ache in her wrist and her ankle. The throbbing of her head. She tried to open her eyes wider and found that they wouldn't, they were swollen practically shut. Then she remembered what had happened and deducted where she was.

***

Donna stared out the window of the cab as fluffy new snowflakes fell on the two feet of snow they had received last week. Despite the difficulties it caused, Donna loved snow. It reminded her of her childhood in Wisconsin, playing with her siblings. Snowmen, snow angels, hot chocolate and curling up in a blanket near the fireplace. All these memories would course through her mind whenever she saw snow.

She was jolted out of her reverie when the cab skidded to a stop. Gazing out her window at ground level she discovered the reason for why they had halted so abruptly. The snowplows had just cleared the main street and the street that would lead to her apartment building was blocked with four feet of snow. With a sigh of resignation she pulled out a twenty for the cabbie and then climbed out of the car.

She carefully picked her way over the wall of snow and made it to the sidewalk. She walked quickly towards her building, aware of every tiny sound. She felt guilty for breaking her promise to Josh but there was nothing she could do. That was when she heard the sound of fabric rustling behind her.

She whirled around and saw one of the scariest men on the planet. Or at least she thought he might be. His face was shrouded in darkness because the street lamp had burned out. He leered at her and came toward her, hands outstretched. Without hesitating, Donna whipped out the can of pepper spray she kept in her purse and sprayed him in the eyes. She turned to run but his wildly grasping fingers managed to wrap themselves around her wrist.

"Bitch!" he cried and punched her.

Several minutes later Donna lay on the cold snow, shivering, feeling the warmth of her blood seeping out of her head and melting the snow beneath her cheek. The pain was overwhelming and she felt horribly alone. She wanted Josh to be there. Needed Josh to be there. As things began to go black she thought she saw the amber lights of the snowplow coming down her street. Seven minutes too late.

***

Peering through the slits that her eyes could open, Donna saw a man with his head lying on the bed and then realized his hand clasped her own.

"Josh," she said, although it came out more like "jsh".

The sound was sufficient to awaken her boss and he raised his head to see that both of Donna's blackened eyes were open as wide as they possibly could and the blue orbs within were focused on him.

"Hey," he breathed a sigh of relief, "you had me worried for a while. Well, actually you had us worried for a while."

Donna looked at him, her raised eyebrows bumping into the white bandage that swathed her forehead.

"CJ got the call from the hospital and she brought Toby and Will with her. Then they phoned me. And then we had to wait, and wait, and wait. Your brain decided to swell and the doctors, even Mrs. Bartlet, didn't know if it was going to go down. Or what the effects would be on your brain. But I can tell from that look in your eyes that that astoundingly complicated brain of yours is fully intact."

Donna attempted to speak but her swollen jaws would not the permit the movement and her lips seemed to have a mind of their own.

"Don't try to talk if it hurts. We can talk later."

Despite the obvious pain, however Donna persevered and finally succeeded in coordinating her mouth movements.

"I'm sorry," she managed to get out.

"For what?"

"Broke promise."

"Maybe, but you didn't break the most important one. You didn't leave me."

One week later the doctors were prepared to let Donna go home but she was not permitted to work for at least another three weeks. She was grateful to finally get away from the smell of disinfectant and the constant beeping and whirring of the machines that surrounded her. However, there was one small catch: Donna wasn't actually going home. She was moving in with Josh. Mrs. Bartlet had refused to release Donna until she had agreed to be surrendered into his care. She had agreed, although she had been somewhat dubious at how much better the quality of care would be at Josh's than it would be at her own apartment with her roommate.

That was why, with a sense of reverse deja vu, she clung tightly to Josh's shoulder as he helped her up the stairs.

***

Donna hefted Josh up the last step without complaint. It had taken them nearly half an hour to climb twenty stairs. They had been on Stair Eleven when Donna began to wish she had taken Sam up on his offer of help but instead she had wanted to prove, to Josh and herself, that she could do just fine on her own. Carefully leaning Josh on her shoulder she managed to unlock the door and give it a kick open. Putting an arm around his waist, they walked sideways down the narrow hallway. She was about to press on to the bedroom where she could get Josh to lay down, when she felt Josh come to a halt. Thinking he was taking another rest she prepared for a long wait.

Instead, she watched Josh as he surveyed his domain.

"Donna," he said, "when did you find time to clean this place?"

Donna followed his gaze with pride, enjoying the reflection of sunlight off of the clean furniture and floor. She remembered with a distant sense of horror the stacks of newspapers nearly three feet high that had been lined up against the walls and the more recent ones that covered any table-like surface. She had found dishes and cutlery everywhere and had been forced to face dust bunnies that were more like tumbleweeds. She had vacuumed the carpets and the couch, which had enough food crumbs to feed an army of mice. She had also had all the throw rugs thoroughly cleaned. After she had finished Josh's home had barely resembled what it had been before.

Donna blushed a little at Josh's praises after he had taken in all that she had done, and then remembering what they were doing, took him back to his bedroom and forced him to take a nap.

***

Donna was shocked when Josh pushed open the door and led her down the hallway. It looked almost the same as when she had cleaned it when she had brought him home from the hospital. The only difference was the large bouquet of roses that sat in the middle of the coffee table.

"Oh, Josh, they're beautiful!"

"I thought you might like them."

"How on earth did you find time to do all this?"

"I tried to be a little more neat after I was... after you came and stayed with me. I just couldn't be messy after that."

"That's why you're desk suddenly exploded with papers," Donna giggled.

"Haha, very funny."

Donna yawned unintentionally.

"C'mon you," he said, "let's put you in bed."

Donna began to move towards the couch, where she had slept before, but Josh steered her instead towards his bedroom.

"Josh, I can't sleep in here."

"You can and you are. There is no way I'm gonna let you sleep on my couch and fall off and put bruises on your bruises."

Donna mentally winced at the mention of what she called her "war wounds". She had tried to treat what had happened as a casual thing that didn't matter. But when she was alone at night...it was a terrifying thing.

Donna crawled into Josh's bed, too tired to argue. As soon as she lay on the cool sheets she missed the warmth that his arm wrapped around her had provided. She curled up, and cradled the pillow between her head and arm. Just before the blackness of sleep surrounded her she felt the light pressure of Josh's lips against the top of her head.

Donna sat on the couch, sifting through the cards and letters she had received. The room around her also had several bouquets of flowers.

"Hey Josh, I think Sam is feeling a little guilty. He sent me a card, wrote me a letter and sent me a bouquet."

"I think he just feels bad because he couldn't come down and visit. He's so busy setting up his firm in California that he just couldn't make it here."

"I know, I told him that when he phoned yesterday."

"Wow, he must really feel bad, he almost never calls me."

"Oh, and like your any better?"

They're banter was interrupted by the ringing of the telephone. Josh picked it up.

"Hello? Oh, hi mom. Yeah, Donna's here. You want to talk to her?"

He handed the phone to Donna and mouthed, "It's my mother."

Donna nodded and took the phone.

"Hi Mrs. Lyman."

***

Donna stood at the end of the hallway and watched the woman coming towards her. She looked burdened, weighed down by a load of sorrow.

"Mrs. Lyman?" she said softly.

The woman looked up and met Donna's eyes with her own. She attempted to smile but the effort was futile.

"You must be Donna, I recognize your voice."

Donna's chest filled with warmth, as it did whenever she spoke with Josh's mother. The woman was somehow capable of giving a verbal hug, one that made you feel all warm and fuzzy. Immediately, the feeling disappeared when she remembered why this woman was here.

"I'm sorry we couldn't meet under better circumstances," Mrs. Lyman said, echoing Donna's thoughts.

"Blame Josh, he never set up a meeting for us," Donna tried to joke.

A faint smile lined the older woman's face.

"How's he doing?"

"Not bad, he gets better every day."

"I'm glad he has someone who loves him looking after him."

Donna began to deny her feelings but found she couldn't. Not to this woman, who understood her better than most people.

Once again, Mrs. Lyman smiled.

"Let's go see him, I'm sure he's missing you already."

***

"I'm doing just fine Mrs. Lyman. Yes, I'm sure. Don't worry; your son is taking good care of me. He learned from the best. I'll talk to you again soon. Ok, love you too. Bye."

Donna hung up with a regretful sigh.

"How's Mom?" Josh asked.

"She's good, she's worried about me, but she's doing just fine."

"That's good."

"Yup."

The conversation lagged. Donna sighed again, feeling tired. Then she felt Josh crawl onto the couch behind her and pull her closer to him, being careful not to inflict any more pain than her injuries already caused. She nestled her head into the crook of his neck and felt him drop a kiss on the top of her head.

"Josh?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Does what happened to me…make you like me less?"

"What?!? Donna, don't ever think that! What happened to you was wrong and should never have happened but it was in no way your fault!"

"I know that, but...I just feel so...lost."

"I know it's not easy, Donna. But when you feel all the love of everyone who cares about you you'll find your anchor. I won't let you go adrift."

"I know," she said quietly.

He placed another kiss on top of her head. A new intimacy had developed in their relationship, neither had discussed it, but both had accepted it.

"I love you, Donna whispered.

"I love you too," Josh whispered back.


End file.
